With all the words floating around in my head, as much as I wanted to avoid it, independence seemed like the most appropriate single-word blog title this month. Not in any political sense, of course, but purely coincidental looking through a personal self-governance lens. 

If you’ve been socially conditioned to follow the flock (with work or family, especially), it’s tough to know when to be independent for ourselves.

When we do catch a glimpse of what our independence truly means (unique to each one of us), after we make the effort to learn and take appropriate action steps, life inevitably throws something at us which requires a shift–a decision to change something must be made–likely stirring up strong emotions, causing some inner fear or doubt, but also presenting opportunities for growth.

“…I quickly made the decision to follow my gut…”

Lisa the lossent

Considering a major change recently, I struggled with overthinking, analysis paralysis, vollying between my head and my heart, and distracted by other unserving yet still-mostly-automatic tactics for days (if not weeks) longer than was necessary. It’s no secret that the decisions we make directly affect our future success or failure, but I’m more curious about how we choose to decide what we’re going to do, or how we react. Viktor Frankl basically said our reaction is a choice.

• How do we know when to stand firm in the storm, ask for help, follow another’s lead, or abandon ship?  
• What’s required to maintain independence & positive momentum after a forced pivot, failure, disappointment, or loss? 
• How do happily successful people hold their independence (personally, at home, at work, and in their social community) after setbacks?

Realizing that my teenager still looks at me to lead by example, I quickly made the decision to follow my gut (fueled by prior knowledge and faith) and make the necessary changes immediately.

Learning new techniques and actually behaving differently than always before can be challenging, but also creates a sense of increased independence and stability with practice.

My latest result is a new feeling of freedom, also an unfamiliar feeling of confidence, and renewed hope generated by 1) releasing feelings of doubt, fear, or lack, and 2) committing to a decision that will positively impact my immediate and future fulfillment.

Releasing the need for control feels empowering. Not needing another for a sense of security feels strong. And self-acceptance is the greatest source of approval! [If you aren’t familiar with The Sedona Method, I highly encourage a look-see.]