Have you ever told yourself you’d do something that felt really big and important, but the thought of doing it also felt overwhelming and scary, so then you got busy avoiding it…maybe even putting it off for years?

I do that with public writing, posting, blogging, submitting, publishing.

Do you notice, though, that when you say it out loud—maybe twice, once to yourself and once to a friend—that it doesn’t seem so scary? Are you even surprised when someone offers words of encouragement and support? Then you don’t seem to put it off for quite so long, do you?

Last week I committed (twice, out loud) to begin this blog on Friday, 4/4, because I believe we can provide comfort for each other by sharing our unique-yet-universal experiences with parental/lossent grief.

Look for one post a month for the next nine months, on 5/5, 6/6, 7/7, and so on. You get it (because once a week sounds way too intimidating!)

I share my words in hopes that other lossents finds a sense of community in this club that nobody wants to join.

“Mother I love you so much! Cut the drama and write a book!”

Amy K. ~ 12/6/1994 – 11/7/2007

There are two distinct thought/behavior patterns I’ve seen repeating in myself since Amy died.

1. “What are you waiting for?”

The most random things can be accompanied by a feeling of fear, self-doubt, overthinking, or uncertainty and eventually analysis paralysis–even when we know what action is needed. Yet somehow things stay disguised or delayed (like saying I’ll write about my parental grief for almost two decades.) It feels empowering to identify that go-to fear and dig into it a little.

2. “It’s about time!”

It’s such a good feeling of joy and celebration when we finally do the thing, whatever it is. It’s like a big hug from beyond and we know that anything is possible when we steel ourselves against perceived fears and simply take action, enjoying living and doing things we’re passionate about.

Well, it took 16 years to finally share the word, lossent, and it it’s taken a few more for me to share my other words publicly, but today we will celebrate…because it truly is about time!

After Amy died I found a note that she had written about a week earlier in one of my journals. She wrote beneath my handwritten entry wherein I was bemoaning her prolonged illness, “Mother I love you so much! Cut the drama and write a book!”

This is the starting point for that.