Creating a Word

When my daughter, Amy, was diagnosed with leukemia in 1999 I was numb and unprepared for the wild ride that was to come. She received modern medical treatment for eight years.

Grief is not an emotion; it is an unexplainable state…

When she died it was beyond excruciating. To make matters even worse, there was not a single word to describe the incredible pain or the totality of the experience I had been through.

So I decided to create one.

Thankfully, the availability of the internet allowed me to research word creation (neology) and, after a while of playing with it, I eventually put together a word that I believe is useful and obvious enough to fulfill the need to express this horrific feeling. Losing a child has been called ‘the greatest loss’ so it seemed appropriate.

Like the single-word simplicity of widow or orphan, I felt that lossent overly generalized my tragic life experience while clearly and gently letting others know what I’d been through. It comforted me, but I didn’t share it with others; it was mine. It was my private word for my private pain. And I kept it to myself…for over a decade.

Around the 16th anniversary of Amy’s death, I suddenly knew it was time to share it with others after I felt unseen energy repeatedly asking me, “What are you waiting for?”

Grief is not an emotion; it is an unexplainable state wherein you can find yourself stuck. For the past few decades, I’ve been living and healing, mostly seeming fine and flourishing on the outside, while feeling mostly wrecked inside.

Releasing this word is just another step in my healing journey, and I’m grateful to share it with other lossents in hopes of easing their grief state to allow progress along their healing journey.

Namaste.

May this word bring you comfort and clarity.